TOP 14 Things NOT to say to an Air Force Spouse!!
I yoinked this from one of my friends. It's hilarious but really sad at the same time, especially if you're military! I changed a lot of it to fit my personal preferences
1. "Aren't you afraid that he'll be killed?"
(This one ranks in at number one on the "duh" list. Of course we're afraid. We're terrified. The thought always lingers at the backs of our minds ---but thanks brilliant, you just brought it back to the front. Maybe next you can go ask someone with cancer if they're scared of dying.)
2. "I don't know how you manage. I don't think I could do it."
(This is intended to be a compliment. Though, it’s just a little annoying. Here's why: it's not like all of us military wives have been dreaming since childhood of the day we'd get to be anxious single moms who carry cell phones with us to the bathroom and in the shower. My most common answer is, "I don't know how I do it either because part of me is breaking inside.")
3. "At least he's not in Iraq."
(This is the number one most annoying comment for those whose husbands are in a place that might not be classified as a war zone. Hello they are still around people who want to kill Americans. Just because there isn't enough fighting to be classified as a “war zone” doesn't mean it isn't dangerous, and he is still gone. Just because he isn't getting shot at constantly doesn't mean I miss him less.)
4. "Do you think he'll get to come home for Christmas/anniversary/birthday/birth of a child/wedding/family reunion, etc?"
(Don't you watch the news? No! They don't get to come home for any of these things. Please don't ask again. I spent many hours of my first labor on the phone with my husband while he was in Baghdad. He didn’t meet his first child until our son was 2.5 months old.)
5. "What are you going to do to keep yourself busy while he's gone?"
(Short answer: Try to keep my sanity. Maybe there's a military wife out there who gets bored when her husband leaves, but I have yet to meet her. For the rest of us, those with and without children, we find ourselves having to be two people. One that holds her head high while she takes care of the shopping, the kids and the cooking, and the other that cries at night because it is so lonely and doesn't know how much more she can take. That keeps us plenty busy. We don't get bored. Part of the challenge is keeping yourself busy enough to keep the fact that you won't see your husband for half a year in the back of your mind. This is extremely difficult when your husband's phone call is late or not there at all, and you are wondering if he is being bombed or injured or worse.)
6. "How much longer does he have until he can get out?"
(This one is annoying to many of us whether our husbands are deployed or not. There are some people that have chosen the military as a career, and maybe they have to deploy sometimes, but there is respect and honor in that. It isn't always about how much longer we have left).
7. "This deployment shouldn't be so bad, now that you're used to it." Or the more common, “The first deployment is always the worst.”
(It is always an adjustment when your husband leaves. Even if you have done it before, you still have to adjust to being a single parent again. It isn't like they are always gone. On top of that, it never gets "easy" and the bullets and bombs don't skip over our guys just because they've been there before. The worry never goes away.)
8. "Well, at least it is only 6 months. That is like a TDY for us Army wives."
(Seriously.....ONLY 6 months. What are you retarded. That is half a year. Yes I am glad it isn't a year, but don't downplay my hurt because your husband is gone longer. 6 months is still half a year. I still have to worry that my daughter won't know her dad when he comes home. I still have all the stresses that any person has when they suddenly become a single parent. I don't care if it is 2 days, 2 weeks, a month, 6 months, a year or even longer gone is gone. It still hurts. It is a struggle to spend your nights alone. I am so sick of people saying this. Trust me I try and see the silver lining, but I don't need you to try and rub my face in that small silver lining. You chose the Army. We didn't. I struggle with 2 weeks, let alone 6 months. If the Air Force ever went to year deployments we would be out before you could say separate.)
9. "Wow you must miss him?"
(This one also gets another big "duh". Of course we miss our men. There are some wives who do not and they're now divorced.)
10. "Where is he exactly?"
(Okay, I actually think this one is funny and not annoying. Since my husband is away from "the war," I get a little pleasure out of this. I love watching people’s eyes go blank when I say my husband is in Al Udeid. They ask where that is, and then I say Qatar. They say oh and nod, but you can see in their eyes that they think you believe that they should know where it is, so they pretend to know so they don't look stupid. I think it is even funnier when people say, “ugh, what a dangerous place.” It isn't that bad really. I think it is fun to tease people that way. For your information it is by Saudi Arabia and before my husband joined the military, I had no idea where it was either. Since being in the military I have learned it is the major stopping place before people go to Afghanistan or Iraq.)
11. "Well, he signed up for it, so it's his own fault whatever happens over there.
(Yes, ignorant, he did sign up. Each and every day he protects your right to make stupid comments like that. He didn't sign up and ask to be hit by anything. Oh, and by the way, he asked me to tell you that "You're welcome." He's still fighting for your freedom.)
12. "Don't you miss sex! I couldn't do it!"
(hmmm, no I don't miss sex. I’m a robot. seriously...military spouses learn quickly that our relationships must be founded on something greater than sex. We learn to appreciate the important things, like simply hearing their voices, a hug when you are having a bad day, a smile from across the room, waking up with them next to you, seeing their faces, being able to have dinner together every night. And the hard truth is, most relationships probably couldn't withstand 6+ months of sex deprivation.)
13. "Well in my opinion....."
(Stop right there. I didn't ask for you your personal political opinions. Hey, I love a heated political debate, but not in the grocery store, not in Jamba Juice, not at Nordstrom, not in a restaurant when I'm out with my girls trying to forget the war, and CERTAINLY NOT AT WORK. We tell co-workers about deployments so when we have to spend lunch hours running our behinds off doing errands and taking care of the house, dog, and kids, they have an understanding. We do not tell co-workers and colleagues because we are giving an invitation to ramble about politics or because we so eagerly want to hear how much they hate the President. I might not like him either. Just because my husband is in the military doesn't mean I agree with all the political steps our country is taking.)
Last but not least....
14. "OH, that's horrible...I'm so sorry!"
(He's doing his job and he's awesome. Don't be sorry. Be appreciative and please take a moment out of your comfortable American lives to realize that our soldiers fight the wars abroad so those wars stay abroad.)
Saturday, July 17, 2010
Sunday, July 11, 2010
CHASE'S UNKOWN BIRTHDAY
Today was Chase's birthday. Ethan is still in Qatar. We decided before he left that since he will be getting back so close to Chase's birthday, we wouldn't even tell him it was his birthday. He would just know that his birthday would be when Daddy got back. It took a lot to keep the seceret. Because his birthday is on a Sunday this year, I had to talk to the primary presidency about not singing to him. I didn't want him confused by them saying his birthday was today. They will still sing to him, but it will be a couple weeks late. It was a difficult day for me. I love birthdays and celebrating my kids' birthdays has become a bit of an obsesion. I was holding back tears all day. He is growing up so fast. What a big wonderful boy he is. He is so helpful. He loves Madison so much. He is always so excited when she wakes up in the morning. He always wakes up before her. The other day, I told him it was going to be sleep in day, so he could watch movies when he woke up, but he needed to be really quiet so mommy and Maddi could sleep in. I didn't think he would understand, but he is so sensitive to what I need. He was a perfect angel all morning. I woke up to him making Madison laugh, but telling her that she needed to laugh quietly because it was sleep in morning. He made her breakfast. He pushed a dining room chair into the kitchen used it to get the waffles out of the freezer, put them in the toaster, and gave one to Maddi while she was in her crib. What a thoughtful little boy. We went to the dr on Friday. He is 45lbs and 9 ounces. He is 41 inches tall. It was a little bitter sweet. We found out the dr that we have had since we have lived here will be leaving on Friday. He was a great dr. He did so much to help Chase with all his medical problems. He would even tell me that if I couldn't get an appointment to call his nurse and they would fit us in somehow. He will be missed. So here are a few pictures of Chase's unknow birthday. I will post pictures of what he thinks is his birthday after we have that party on the 31st.
Chase's Mickey Mouse Chocolate Chip pancake
Eating his yummy breakfast. He must have told me a hundred times that it was yummy and that he loved me. So sweet
Eating his yummy breakfast. He must have told me a hundred times that it was yummy and that he loved me. So sweet
Juice for breakfast. This kid hit the jackpot today. Before he went to bed, he thanked Heavenly Father "for the juice because it is my favorite drink." What a sweet little boy.
Ready for church. For any of you haters out there who don't think it is right to put your kids in shorts and sandels for church. It is 100 degrees over here, and they don't believe in air conditioning. Church is nearly unbearable. I am not going to give my kid heat stroke.
Maddi and Chase after church. This was as close as I could get to both of them sitting on the couch. Madison kept wanting to look at the picture, but she would get up to look before I even took the picture.
Chase set the table all by himself. He is getting so big. He loves macaroni and cheese. When I asked him what he wanted for dinner that is what he said. I thought he would say pizza, but no way, it is all about mac and cheese. I asked if he wanted hot dogs too, and he said no just mac and cheese. I made 4 boxes. He was in heaven
The brownies after dinner. I let him have as much as he wanted. I think this was his third one.
He was playing with Madison's sunglasses. They are way too small even for Maddi.
rock on in pink glasses dude.
Ready for church. For any of you haters out there who don't think it is right to put your kids in shorts and sandels for church. It is 100 degrees over here, and they don't believe in air conditioning. Church is nearly unbearable. I am not going to give my kid heat stroke.
Maddi and Chase after church. This was as close as I could get to both of them sitting on the couch. Madison kept wanting to look at the picture, but she would get up to look before I even took the picture.
Chase set the table all by himself. He is getting so big. He loves macaroni and cheese. When I asked him what he wanted for dinner that is what he said. I thought he would say pizza, but no way, it is all about mac and cheese. I asked if he wanted hot dogs too, and he said no just mac and cheese. I made 4 boxes. He was in heaven
The brownies after dinner. I let him have as much as he wanted. I think this was his third one.
He was playing with Madison's sunglasses. They are way too small even for Maddi.
rock on in pink glasses dude.
Wednesday, July 7, 2010
THE FIREWORK SHOW
Before the fireworks started, I bought the kids some lollipops. They loved them, and had so much fun sharing their treat.
I know this picture is almost exactly the same as the one above it, but Madison's facial expresion is so cute, I just had to put it on here. We had a lot of fun at the celebration. Sorry I don't have any pictures of the actual fireworks, but who hasn't seen those.
Tuesday, July 6, 2010
THE RIDES AT THE 4TH OF JULY CELEBRATION
Chase and Madison both loved the car roller coaster. Madison is riding with a friend of ours.
Chase loves riding on the firetruck so he can ring the bell. 
Chase absolutely loved the bumper cars. He was laughing the whole time. He normally is serious when he is doing something he likes. This time he couldn't stop laughing.
Chase absolutely loved the bumper cars. He was laughing the whole time. He normally is serious when he is doing something he likes. This time he couldn't stop laughing.
Yeah, we got rear ended, Hard. My friend just happened to be taking a picture when it happened.
More driving
Madison riding the horses. She loved it. She screamed when we got off.
The Ferris Wheel. Madison wanted to look over the edge, but I was not about to let go of her.
No, I am not a bad mom because my daughter is on a leash. She loves it, and it helps when there are only two eyes instead of the usual four. She likes to wander off.
More driving
Madison riding the horses. She loved it. She screamed when we got off.
The Ferris Wheel. Madison wanted to look over the edge, but I was not about to let go of her.
No, I am not a bad mom because my daughter is on a leash. She loves it, and it helps when there are only two eyes instead of the usual four. She likes to wander off.
Me playing the ball game. Ethan and I love this game. We play it every year. You bounce the balls off the table and if they land in the cup, you win the cup they land in. I have never won. Ethan won once, but never again. I will win a cup before I move back to the US. It is my goal. See, told you I am a carnie at heart.
Sunday, July 4, 2010
4th OF JULY
I think I was a carnie in a past life. You have to understand that, or you will not begin to understand the fun that we had at the 4th of July celebration. I absolutely LOVE carnivals. When we were in the states, I would go to the fair every year. When we first got married, I think Ethan hated that about me since he isn’t a fan of crowds. He isn’t much trouble now though. I think he has accepted that I love it. We had so much fun this year. It is so different being in a different country for the 4th. We can’t buy fireworks anywhere, and they don’t always celebrate on the 4th. This year they celebrated on the 3rd. That is fine by me since the 4th is on a Sunday, and we would only have been able to watch the fireworks.
We stayed home for most of the day. We went to the grocery store for lunch. Hey, they were giving out free hot dogs, and I needed to go grocery shopping. Win win right? Well, the kids were good for most of it. They always go bananas at the checkout line. They had a huge sale on fruit. I love nectarines, but the price over here is OUTRAGIOUS. We are talking 2 dollars or more a pound. We don’t buy them often. They had a sale where they were 99 cents for 6 nectarines. No pounds involved. I think I bought 4 basket things. I hope I can eat them all before they go bad. Well, going to the grocery store was perfect for another reason. I was trying to give Madison two naps, and I wanted Chase to take a nap. They don’t start the fireworks until 10:30pm. I didn’t want Chase to be too cranky for that. Madison took her two naps just fine, but Chase refused. I knew he would, but I had to try. He was super excited and could not wait to go see the fireworks.
We didn’t leave the house until around 6:30pm. We went to the carnival and dove right in. They had brats (for those of you unfamiliar with brats, I am not talking about kids screaming, but about German sausages. It is pronounced broughts), wings, root beer floats, cotton candy and pretty much anything you can imagine at a carnival. Chase saw the Ferris-wheel and wanted to go on the “big circle.” We did that first and the horses were right next to that. Madison LOVED that. She screamed “NO” pretty loud when I took her off. Luckily she got to stand and stare at the horses while all the other kids we were with got to ride. She sure likes her animals. Next we went to the bumper cars. I have never seen Chase so excited for a ride. He laughed the whole time. It was fun to see him enjoy it so much. Last, but not least, we went to the kiddie roller coaster. It isn’t so much a roller coaster, as a circle with a little hill in the middle. The kids pick a car and ride around. They enjoyed it a lot.
I a little side piece of random information that I just have to bring up. Every time the kids go on a ride, I can’t help but compare the rides here with the rides in the US. First, it is dog eat dog when you put your kids on the ride. There is no line. You fight for your kids to get on. You throw them in and step back. I have been elbowed before. Second, the ride is a lot longer than the ones in the states. Sometimes, I am like, alright already finish it. Finally, the operators wait for no one. You get your kids on and get out of the way. If you don’t, you are going on the ride too.
Okay, back to the story. By the time we were done with those few rides, it was time to go sit and wait for the fireworks to start. While the kids were on the last ride, I stepped to the candy stand and bought GIGANTIC lollipops for everyone. They were so excited. I bought a super big one for Madison and Chase to share. They loved it. It was a great way for them to stay around us while waiting for the fireworks to start.
This was an exciting night for me. It is the first time that either of my kids has seen fireworks on the 4th of July. With sickness, and other things, we have always ended up going home early, or not going at all. The fireworks started without anyone realizing they were about to start. Madison actually jumped and ran into my lap. She got a death grip on my shirt and didn’t let go until the fireworks ended. I am glad she didn’t scream or cry. I thought she might, but it was a tossup. Chase loves fireworks. He has since he discovered them two years ago on New Year’s Eve. Once the show started, he never took his eyes off the sky. I have to say, either Germans or American Military members in another country, sure know how to do fireworks right. It was the best fireworks show I have ever seen. There were really some beautiful fireworks.
By the time, the fireworks ended it was midnight. We were racing out of the area where the fireworks were. We were trying to beat all the traffic. Chase took a nose dive, and now has a bruise on his cheek. Poor guy. The cops were freaking out.
We finally got home and to bed. What a long night. The kids slept in until 10:30 today. That was nice since we were out so late. We had a lot of fun, and were bummed that Ethan couldn’t be there to enjoy it with us. He is coming back soon though. Only 18 days. The pictures will be up soon. My camera ran out of batteries, so my friend took all the pictures. I will post them as soon as I get them from her.
To finish my post, I just figured I would write a few patriotic things that make me proud to be an American. The first thing, of course, is my husband. I don’t love that he has to be gone for such a long time, and I wish that he didn’t have to go, but I love to say that he fought for our freedom. Having a spouse in war makes all the pictures and the news so real. It is amazing the bond that can grow when you can’t be around a person all the time, and can only talk on the phone or the computer.
Another thing that makes me proud is the flag and the National Anthem. Every time we go to the movies on base, they play the national anthem. It is humbling to watch everyone around you stand automatically at the sound of a chime. It is amazing to watch kids, as young as 4, already know that they need to stand and put their hands on their hearts. It is amazing to look around and see people saluting, at attention or with their hands over their hearts in respect for our country. There is so much respect in that room. They also show pictures on the screen. It makes me tear up every time. There is a picture of a chopper with rescue nurses all around it and a soldier on a stretcher. It is so humbling. I have so much respect for the flag now. It means so much more to me than it ever did before. The words to the National Anthem mean so much to me. It makes me so upset when people talk about how the Anthem is violent and we need a new one. It makes me want to scream about how it means so much more. The bombs meant that the Americans were still alive. They knew that they had survived another night. It is almost as if I take it as a personal offence because I know what it means when my husband has a late phone call. I will never forget one of those times. Ethan was in Baghdad. I was very pregnant with Chase, so, needless to say, my emotions were already at the surface. Ethan was over 5 hours late for our phone call. He was never more than an hour late. I was so stressed. I have never felt fear like that. He finally called. He tried to tell me it was nothing. Of course he couldn’t tell me anything while he was there because of security. I later found out, that his base was being bombed. He didn’t make it to a shelter. He was stuck on the flight line (the most common place of attack over there). I don’t think anybody can understand that fear or dread until it has happened to them. Ethan’s phone call was my knowledge that things were okay. That is what that song means. I wish people would understand that.
I love being an American. I love our country. I love celebrating the 4th of July.
We stayed home for most of the day. We went to the grocery store for lunch. Hey, they were giving out free hot dogs, and I needed to go grocery shopping. Win win right? Well, the kids were good for most of it. They always go bananas at the checkout line. They had a huge sale on fruit. I love nectarines, but the price over here is OUTRAGIOUS. We are talking 2 dollars or more a pound. We don’t buy them often. They had a sale where they were 99 cents for 6 nectarines. No pounds involved. I think I bought 4 basket things. I hope I can eat them all before they go bad. Well, going to the grocery store was perfect for another reason. I was trying to give Madison two naps, and I wanted Chase to take a nap. They don’t start the fireworks until 10:30pm. I didn’t want Chase to be too cranky for that. Madison took her two naps just fine, but Chase refused. I knew he would, but I had to try. He was super excited and could not wait to go see the fireworks.
We didn’t leave the house until around 6:30pm. We went to the carnival and dove right in. They had brats (for those of you unfamiliar with brats, I am not talking about kids screaming, but about German sausages. It is pronounced broughts), wings, root beer floats, cotton candy and pretty much anything you can imagine at a carnival. Chase saw the Ferris-wheel and wanted to go on the “big circle.” We did that first and the horses were right next to that. Madison LOVED that. She screamed “NO” pretty loud when I took her off. Luckily she got to stand and stare at the horses while all the other kids we were with got to ride. She sure likes her animals. Next we went to the bumper cars. I have never seen Chase so excited for a ride. He laughed the whole time. It was fun to see him enjoy it so much. Last, but not least, we went to the kiddie roller coaster. It isn’t so much a roller coaster, as a circle with a little hill in the middle. The kids pick a car and ride around. They enjoyed it a lot.
I a little side piece of random information that I just have to bring up. Every time the kids go on a ride, I can’t help but compare the rides here with the rides in the US. First, it is dog eat dog when you put your kids on the ride. There is no line. You fight for your kids to get on. You throw them in and step back. I have been elbowed before. Second, the ride is a lot longer than the ones in the states. Sometimes, I am like, alright already finish it. Finally, the operators wait for no one. You get your kids on and get out of the way. If you don’t, you are going on the ride too.
Okay, back to the story. By the time we were done with those few rides, it was time to go sit and wait for the fireworks to start. While the kids were on the last ride, I stepped to the candy stand and bought GIGANTIC lollipops for everyone. They were so excited. I bought a super big one for Madison and Chase to share. They loved it. It was a great way for them to stay around us while waiting for the fireworks to start.
This was an exciting night for me. It is the first time that either of my kids has seen fireworks on the 4th of July. With sickness, and other things, we have always ended up going home early, or not going at all. The fireworks started without anyone realizing they were about to start. Madison actually jumped and ran into my lap. She got a death grip on my shirt and didn’t let go until the fireworks ended. I am glad she didn’t scream or cry. I thought she might, but it was a tossup. Chase loves fireworks. He has since he discovered them two years ago on New Year’s Eve. Once the show started, he never took his eyes off the sky. I have to say, either Germans or American Military members in another country, sure know how to do fireworks right. It was the best fireworks show I have ever seen. There were really some beautiful fireworks.
By the time, the fireworks ended it was midnight. We were racing out of the area where the fireworks were. We were trying to beat all the traffic. Chase took a nose dive, and now has a bruise on his cheek. Poor guy. The cops were freaking out.
We finally got home and to bed. What a long night. The kids slept in until 10:30 today. That was nice since we were out so late. We had a lot of fun, and were bummed that Ethan couldn’t be there to enjoy it with us. He is coming back soon though. Only 18 days. The pictures will be up soon. My camera ran out of batteries, so my friend took all the pictures. I will post them as soon as I get them from her.
To finish my post, I just figured I would write a few patriotic things that make me proud to be an American. The first thing, of course, is my husband. I don’t love that he has to be gone for such a long time, and I wish that he didn’t have to go, but I love to say that he fought for our freedom. Having a spouse in war makes all the pictures and the news so real. It is amazing the bond that can grow when you can’t be around a person all the time, and can only talk on the phone or the computer.
Another thing that makes me proud is the flag and the National Anthem. Every time we go to the movies on base, they play the national anthem. It is humbling to watch everyone around you stand automatically at the sound of a chime. It is amazing to watch kids, as young as 4, already know that they need to stand and put their hands on their hearts. It is amazing to look around and see people saluting, at attention or with their hands over their hearts in respect for our country. There is so much respect in that room. They also show pictures on the screen. It makes me tear up every time. There is a picture of a chopper with rescue nurses all around it and a soldier on a stretcher. It is so humbling. I have so much respect for the flag now. It means so much more to me than it ever did before. The words to the National Anthem mean so much to me. It makes me so upset when people talk about how the Anthem is violent and we need a new one. It makes me want to scream about how it means so much more. The bombs meant that the Americans were still alive. They knew that they had survived another night. It is almost as if I take it as a personal offence because I know what it means when my husband has a late phone call. I will never forget one of those times. Ethan was in Baghdad. I was very pregnant with Chase, so, needless to say, my emotions were already at the surface. Ethan was over 5 hours late for our phone call. He was never more than an hour late. I was so stressed. I have never felt fear like that. He finally called. He tried to tell me it was nothing. Of course he couldn’t tell me anything while he was there because of security. I later found out, that his base was being bombed. He didn’t make it to a shelter. He was stuck on the flight line (the most common place of attack over there). I don’t think anybody can understand that fear or dread until it has happened to them. Ethan’s phone call was my knowledge that things were okay. That is what that song means. I wish people would understand that.
I love being an American. I love our country. I love celebrating the 4th of July.
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