MADISON'S BIRTHDAY

Okay, so I was sitting on our computer the other day, and I just realized, I never updated the rest of Madison's birthday.

Madison is two years old. I can't believe how fast the time can go. She is so sweet.

Here are a couple things that happened this year:

She learned to count to 5

She potty trained herself (yeah, I was shocked)

She got almost all her teeth (Yeah she was late)

She said goodbye to her dad for 6 months and pretty much had to meet him again when he came back.

She met both sets of grandparents and her cousins and aunts and uncles and a few other special people.

She went on her first plane ride (or trip because it was really long)

She set foot in the US for the first time

She started talking (and now she can't stop)

She grew a lot. She is 34 lbs (97th percentile) and 33 and a half inches tall (50th percentile).

She is an amazing girl and a wonderful addition to our family. It amazes me how much personality each little person can have. I never thought about it much until I realized that she is so different from Chase. I think she got a little more of the Saunders personality. She is super shy, but when she gets comfortable, she is so fun. We are looking forward to what this year brings.






She was so excited about the My Little Ponies. Whoever invented those is a genus. They appeal to everything little girls love. You can do their hair, and I think almost all little girls love horses.





She got a lot of dress up clothes too. She is really starting to get into that stuff. She has been wearing her heels and carrying around a purse a lot lately.







Letting daddy help putt on her dress up stuff











She has also been really into babies lately. She got a bag full of all the stuff you need to take care of a baby. I think she makes such a good little mamma :)








What a pretty princess. Actually she hates crowns. I put it on her and had to take the picture super fast. I just wanted one with it on her head.








She dumped all the baby stuff on the floor before she would play with it. Yippie, more cleaning.







Ethan wasn't getting the My Little Ponies out fast enough for Madison. She decided just pulling on them would be much faster.








My little hamm. She is so into glasses right now.









My little fairy princess. I love the wings. She almost never wears them, but I love when she does.

11 STEP PROGRAM FOR THOSE THINKING OF HAVING KIDS

This is the funniest thing I have read in a while. I swear I was laughing so hard I had tears by the time I was done reading this. ENJOY


Lesson 1

1. Go to the grocery store.
2. Arrange to have your salary paid directly to their head office.
3. Go home.
4. Pick up the paper.
5. Read it for the last time.

Lesson 2

Before you finally go ahead and have children, find a couple who already are parents and berate them about their...
1. Methods of discipline.
2. Lack of patience.
3. Appallingly low tolerance levels.
4. Allowing their children to run wild.
5. Suggest ways in which they might improve their child's breastfeeding, sleep habits, toilet training, table manners, and overall behavior.
Enjoy it because it will be the last time in your life you will have all the answers.

Lesson 3

A really good way to discover how the nights might feel...
1. Get home from work and immediately begin walking around the living room from 5PM to 10PM carrying a wet bag weighing approximately 8-12 pounds, with a radio turned to static (or some other obnoxious sound) playing loudly. (Eat cold food with one hand for dinner)
2. At 10PM, put the bag gently down, set the alarm for midnight, and go to sleep.
3. Get up at 12 and walk around the living room again, with the bag, until 1AM.
4. Set the alarm for 3AM.
5. As you can't get back to sleep, get up at 2AM and make a drink and watch an infomercial.
6. Go to bed at 2:45AM.
7. Get up at 3AM when the alarm goes off.
8. Sing songs quietly in the dark until 4AM.
9. Get up. Make breakfast. Get ready for work and go to work (work hard and be productive)

Repeat steps 1-9 each night. Keep this up for 3-5 years. Look cheerful and together.

Lesson 4

Can you stand the mess children make? T o find out...
1. Smear peanut butter onto the sofa and jam onto the curtains.
2. Hide a piece of raw chicken behind the stereo and leave it there all summer.
3. Stick your fingers in the flower bed.
4. Then rub them on the clean walls.
5. Take your favorite book, photo album, etc. Wreck it.
6. Spill milk on your new pillows. Cover the stains with crayons. How does that look?

Lesson 5

Dressing small children is not as easy as it seems.
1. Buy an octopus and a small bag made out of loose mesh.
2. Attempt to put the octopus into the bag so that none of the arms hang out.

Time allowed for this - all morning.

Lesson 6

Forget the BMW and buy a mini-van. And don't think that you can leave it out in the driveway spotless and shining. Family cars don't look like that.
1. Buy a chocolate ice cream cone and put it in the glove compartment.
Leave it there.
2. Get a dime. Stick it in the CD player.
3. Take a family size package of chocolate cookies. Mash them into the back seat. Sprinkle cheerios all over the floor, then smash them with your foot.
4. Run a garden rake along both sides of the car.

Lesson 7

Go to the local grocery store. Take with you the closest thing you can find to a pre-school child. (A full-grown goat is an excellent choice). If you intend to have more than one child, then definitely take more than one goat. Buy your week's groceries without letting the goats out of your sight. Pay for everything the goat eats or destroys. Until you can easily accomplish this, do not even contemplate having children.

Lesson 8

1. Hollow out a melon.
2. Make a small hole in the side.
3. Suspend it from the ceiling and swing it from side to side.
4. Now get a bowl of soggy Cheerios and attempt to spoon them into the swaying melon by pretending to be an airplane.
5. Continue until half the Cheerios are gone.
6. Tip half into your lap. The other half, just throw up in the air.

You are now ready to feed a nine- month-old baby.

Lesson 9

Learn the names of every character from Sesame Street , Barney, Disney, the Teletubbies, and Pokemon. Watch nothing else on TV but PBS, the Disney channel or Noggin for at least five years. (I know, you're thinking What's 'Noggin'?) Exactly the point.

Lesson 10

Make a recording of Fran Drescher saying 'mommy' repeatedly. (Important: no more than a four second delay between each 'mommy'; occasional crescendo to the level of a supersonic jet is required). Play this tape in your car everywhere you go for the next four years. You are now ready to take a long trip with a toddler.

Lesson 11

Start talking to an adult of your choice. Have someone else continually tug on your skirt hem, shirt- sleeve, or elbow while playing the 'mommy' tape made from Lesson 10 above. You are now ready to have a conversation with an adult while there is a child in the room.

This is all very tongue in cheek; anyone who is parent will say 'it's all worth it!' Share it with your friends, both those who do and don't have kids. I guarantee they'll get a chuckle out of it. Remember, a sense of humor is one of the most important things you'll need when you become a parent!